What to Say When Your Child Is Being Bullied
Renee Okafor
5 min read · May 24
Calm scripts for hard conversations, and what to do in the first 24 hours.
The first thing your child needs to hear is not a plan. It's 'I believe you, and I'm glad you told me.' Many children delay telling a parent for weeks because they expect to be doubted or to be told to toughen up.
Stay steady even if you're furious. A child watching a parent panic often concludes that telling the truth made everything worse, and stops telling.
Get the facts gently and in order: what happened, who was there, where, how often, and what has already been tried. Write it down the same day, with dates. Documentation is what moves a school from sympathy to action.
Ask before you act: 'What would help most right now?' Being consulted restores some of the control that bullying takes away. You may still need to override their preference for silence — but explain why, rather than surprising them.
Contact the school in writing, not just in the corridor. Request the anti-bullying policy, describe the incidents factually, and ask for a specific response date.
Finally, rebuild the parts of their life bullying shrinks. One activity, outside that peer group, where they are competent and liked. It does more for recovery than any conversation.
